Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a psychological condition. It is a condition that must be diagnosed by a mental health professional, although there are challenges in this as it manifests differently in women compared to men.
What Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition where individuals:
- Have an inflated sense of their own value or worth
- Lack empathy
- And need constant and excessive admiration
Those with NPD are typically preoccupied with fantasies of power or success, believe that they are special, and have an unreasonable level of entitlement. They’re also often envious of others, behave in an arrogant fashion, which makes it difficult to form relationships, and are ready to take advantage of other people, especially if it helps them achieve personal goals.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder in Women vs. Men: Key Differences
A woman with narcissistic personality disorder will present slightly differently than a man.
Behavioral Expression of Narcissism
In terms of the behavioral expression of narcissism, both men and women will try to seek attention, but men might be more prone to entitlement and violence, whereas women are more prone to emotional manipulation, like exploiting their relationships and faking insecurity.
Emotional Manipulation and Appearance
On the note of emotional manipulation and appearance, female narcissistic personality disorder for women has a much higher rate of self-absorption. Women are often focused on their physical appearance, which leads to social media addiction and using sex as a weapon. Women are often more impulsive though less aggressive compared to men. The preoccupation with physical appearance is something that women will use to their advantage.
Social and Relationship Dynamics
Tangentially, the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder in women have a detrimental impact on social and relationship dynamics. Women are more likely to react to what is perceived as a social slight against them and more likely to play the victim. Within relationships, women will utilize that victimhood to gain validation through their martyrdom.
Women with families may be hyperfocused on their children, believing that children are an exact extension of themselves.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Symptoms in Women
Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms in women look slightly different than in men. For example:
In relationships, a woman might flaunt sexuality to gain attention, try to manipulate intimate partners by creating feelings of jealousy so they can gain power and control, or use a relationship for personal validation to compensate for poor self-esteem.
A female narcissist might try to compete with her other friends, constantly put them down or speak poorly about them behind their backs, try to sabotage relationships, or blame other people for problems.
In the workplace, women often use passive-aggressive tactics to gain power, belittle their coworkers, take credit for the work of other people, and pursue constant validation through social media or awards in the workplace to compensate for low self-esteem.
#1: Manipulation
Narcissistic personality disorder in women manifests in the form of gender-specific manipulation. For this, women will use charm, social connections, and appearance to manipulate other people. This might take the form of pretending to be shy, reserved, or insecure.
#2: Hyper-focus
Women will demonstrate a hyper-focus on maintaining a perfect image and being perceived as flawless.
While self-centeredness is common in males and females, female narcissists spend a great deal of their time talking about themselves without ever asking about others. If other people do interject, a female narcissist will turn the conversation back on to themselves.
That hyperfocus extends to social status. Women with narcissistic personality disorder are often preoccupied with luxury items and name brands. They are heavily materialistic, with an obsession with being wealthy, having a good reputation, having a lot of money, or other appearance characteristics.
This often takes the form of social media addiction, where women are consumed with posting selfies, getting additional followers, and developing an addiction to social media because of the virtual reality they have created about themselves with a perfect appearance.
#3: Emotional exploitation
Females may emotionally exploit family and friends for personal gain. This type of emotional manipulation and control is more common in females than males.
Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms in women look a little different when it comes to emotional exploitation. Women will use passive-aggressive behavior to meet their needs instead of intimidation or physical aggression.
That passive-aggressive behavior means that they won’t take control of situations, but they will try to subtly control them by coercing the feelings and thoughts of other people. Sometimes, this manipulation happens with tactics where women will pretend to be the victim in order to exploit people’s emotions or get them to do things for them. By pretending to be submissive or helpless, they can bully people into doing what they want.
Equally common is for women to use sex appeal as a form of coercion. Sometimes, women use provocative clothing or makeup or even sexual seduction to financially exploit people or manipulate their emotions.
#4: Poor Self-Esteem
It’s not uncommon for a female narcissistic personality disorder to present with shallowness and vanity, masking poor self-esteem.
Women with narcissistic personality disorder are very vain, but women tend to be much more preoccupied with their physical appearance, particularly their level of attraction to the opposite sex and weight. This can result in unhealthy obsessions with things like extreme diets or cosmetic procedures and contribute to social media addiction.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder in Women: Diagnosis and Treatment
For female narcissistic personality disorder, there can be some challenges in getting the right diagnosis and treatment.
Challenges in Diagnosing NPD in Women
There can be difficulty diagnosing symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder in women because the symptoms tend to be less severe in females compared to males. Similarly, the symptoms of a female narcissist may be less physically aggressive, and women present with more empathy in general compared to male narcissists. Women are more likely to not only have difficulty getting a proper diagnosis but to be misdiagnosed.
Therapy and Treatment Options
Treatment options for narcissistic personality disorder symptoms in women typically involve therapy. Cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical behavioral therapy, group therapy, and family therapy are some of the most common treatment options for female narcissistic personality disorder.
There are currently no FDA-approved medications for this, but some of the individual symptoms a woman with narcissistic personality disorder experiences can be treated with medication, such as anxiety or depression.
The Role of Self-Awareness in Treatment
Self-awareness is very instrumental in proper treatment. Being self-aware can help women focus on self-care exercises like mindful meditation, self-compassion exercises, and regular physical activity. Physical activity can provide stressful outlets, while self-compassion can reduce shame.
Conclusion
When looking into narcissistic personality disorder symptoms in women versus men, there are differences in terms of behavioral expression, emotional manipulation, and relationship dynamics. Women tend to focus more on social status and emotional manipulation, yet with a fragile sense of self-esteem.
It is important to understand these differences between how NPD manifests in women vs. men, get an early diagnosis where possible, and find the right level of treatment and support for yourself and your family.